The Durkin Uniform: The V-Neck

September 22nd, 2011

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My brother and I wear the same thing, every single day. White v-neck. Dark dress pants. Black shoes. Black socks. Black belt. Like clockwork. I don’t believe we have OCD. I think my mom at once probably thought we did, but I don’t think she thinks that anymore. Maybe she still does. I’ve never really asked. Some people call it my uniform. I like the sound of that.

Well. You asked for it, and now you hath received! Durkin’s uniform. On sale at your local shopping centers. Here’s what to buy if you want to pimp yourself out with the nicest, most comfortable, carefree yet BUSINESS style since sliced bread (I may be biased).

1. The infamous White, V-Neck Alfani shirt
Where to buy them: Macy’s
Price point: 5 shirts for $19.98. That’s $3.99 per shirt. Damnnnnn sonnnnnnnn!
Nothing says comfort like a white v-neck, size large. Party up top. And business down below.

2. Dark dress pants
Where to buy them: K&G Fashion Superstore
Price point: 1 pair of pants for $20.00
Hands down the best place to buy dress pants. K&G is actually owned by Men’s Warehouse. It is a deep-discount clothing chain that sell’s really nice dress pants for cheap. Shop here in person. Their online sucks, and I’ll say it to their faces.

3. Jockey boxers
Where to buy them: Jockey.com
Price point: $11.00
This is definitely pound for pound the most expensive thing I wear. I would think that underwear would be the cheapest thing I buy, but it ain’t, and for good reason. All boxers hath not created equally.

There is one thing that always bothers me about boxers: dumpy butt. I hate boxers that make it look like you took a dump in them. It blows my mind that companies have not figured this out yet. The Fruit of the Loom boxers I’ve worn before all have dumpy butt. Just too much cloth behind the ass. It makes me look like a frump. And when I’m standing in them in front of my girlfriend, it just doesn’t “feel” right. So, instead, I rock these Jockey “Fashion Boxers.” They sound as good as they feel. They don’t cut off my balls and don’t hug me too tight. And they don’t have dumpy butt. I’m a big fan. Wait for Jockey.com to put these puppies on sale. That’s when I bought mine.

4. Black Calvin Klein socks
Where to buy them: Macy’s
Price point: 4 pack for $19.98
I’m a big fan of these socks. They are long, but not long enough where they approach the knee. They cover the ankle when you want to sit with your knee on your leg like a baller. The cloth feels phenomenal. AND THEY DON’T FALL DOWN. WOW! Amazing. They last a long time, and all in all, I give them five stars out of five.

5. Black Calvin Klein Horatio Oxford Shoes
Where to buy them: Calvin Klein online
Price Point: $130. Damn. Shit’s expensive.
I believe I buy my shoes at Off-Broadway. I can’t remember, but I think that is where. Either way, I always buy the same shoe: Calvin Klein Men’s Horatio Oxford. I really dislike wide shoes that look like you’re wearing boats on your feet. I also really dislike funky shoes that have way too much shit going on. I like simplicity. Black dress shoes. With laces. A nice heal. Something I can put the shoe shine to that goes over real nicely. Something that breaks in as if you’re wearing socks, but that has that heal click that reminds you you’re rocking the shoe. That type of shit. And that is this shoe. I’m a big fan.

6. Black Dockers belt
Where to buy them: Kohls
Price point: $18.00
I like really simple, black belts with a silver colored buckle. I’ve seen a lot of people rock some really crazy funky belts. Maybe that’s their thing. But it’s not mine. Go with a simple belt with a single clip and you’ll be good to go. If your belt right now has a tear in it, doesn’t latch for some reason, puffs out in a specific area for no reason, or is “broken,” go and buy a new belt. It’s cheap, and it will make you look better. Do it up.

I’ve been rocking this uniform for the past three years of my life. Every. Single. Day. Except for summer. Or if for some reason shit get’s f’d up. And then I don’t. It is perfect. It is me. It is style and comfort, all in one. And I urge people to give it a try, or to find their own style that works for them.

Here’s me style: http://ryandurkin.com

What’s yours?