When coaching… values matter

As leading The Operators, I spend a lot of time coaching my clients. Having been an Operator, I’ve been able to flex my muscle at companies like Drizly (acquired by Uber for $1.1 Billion) as their VP Product, and Wayfair, joining pre-IPO in hyper-growth mode. Having been a repeat founder, I’ve also had to scale teams, manage teams, and have hired hundreds of people.

My favorite people to coach are early-stage founders and high-growth Operators leading their departments.

And above all else, I work best with Operators who can work strategically and also tactically.

I am not the person you hire to simply “lead you to water” with questions. There will be many times when I will lead you to the water trough and then dunk your head right in. That’s why people come to me.

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Prior to starting a coaching relationship, one really important thing I ask of my people is to (1) fill out a form I’ve designed to get their brains down on paper, and (2) list out their values. Many people have gone through this exercise before, and many haven’t, and that’s ok. Here’s the opportunity to do it.

I’ve always found asking someone to define their values to be a critical step in the process for a few reasons:

  1. It allows me to understand the behaviors she/he tries to exhibit her/himself.

  2. It allows me to understand the behaviors she/he looks for in others.

  3. It allows me to adapt my working style with that person to get the most out of them and the most out of me.

  4. It allows others to understand you, to understand how you think/work/approach problems, and to understand your definition of winning behaviors.

  5. And lastly, it allows others to understand your intent and how to communicate and work with you.

Ultimately, it sets you, me, and your coworkers/friends/boss/mentor/whoever up for success.

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Go beyond the basics

When I ask someone what they value, more often than not it goes something like this…

80% of people list off 2–3 things. More often than not they include one or all of the following values: “I value open communication and collaboration. I value curiosity and learning. I value good work/life balance. Etc.”

The other 20% of people go beyond the basics. And more often than not, this 20% of people have values that are much closer aligned to themselves than other people. These people, by and large, are people who not only know themselves but also know how to show and sell themselves (and their ideas) to other people. These people are the people who can convey value to others.

Whether you’re reading this because we’re about to partner up, or you’re just reading this for fun, spend 15-20 minutes writing down your values. Ultimately, you’ll end up refining them over time… time and time again. And that’s ok. Within a few weeks, you’ll have refined them to the point that you will feel a sense of confidence knowing who you are.

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How to think about what you truly value

Being asked what you value feels like a very meaty question, and sometimes can feel overwhelming. But it doesn’t have to be. The key is to start typing. Here are a few questions I’ve always found help people start the flow:

  1. What do you value about your closest friend(s)?

  2. What do you value about your closest friend at work?

  3. What do you hate about the way your business currently operates? What pisses you off? Then write down the opposite of that (Example: I hate working in companies that move slowly. It drives me nuts. Why? Because I like to move fast. I like making decisions. I like urgency). Make your list, and take the opposite.

  4. Why do you think people like you? What is it about you that you think attracts others to you?

  5. Ask your mom, dad, sibling, or others what they think you value.

If you answer those questions above, you’ll have a sizable list to work through. Refine it. Time and time again. Ultimately, you’ll arrive at what may be the first list of values you’ve ever made of yourself on paper. That’s a great thing.

Here are a few examples:

I like to share my values with someone I am coaching as well so that they know who I am and how I operate. It can serve as a bit of a guide, and at the end of the day, it’s just as important for that person to understand me as much as it is for me to understand them.

Here are mine:

EMBRACE A CHAMPION MINDSET

Champions lead from the front. They are disciples of the game. They practice the fundamentals. They envision the win. And they want to take the final shot. All Operators within our organization, and all clients we represent, are expected to push themselves to become the greatest champions they can be…. to hone their craft, inspire others, and always give their best.

1. It starts with you

Take care of yourself: mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Practice good habits. Create discipline in your life. You will never be able to help other people until you first help yourself.

2. Be Bostonian transparent

Tell it like it is. Don’t be afraid to say what others won’t, with good intentions.

3. Make decisions and move with urgency

Indecision kills dreams, spirits, and companies. Energy is a powerful thing. Create energy. Create momentum. Go! Act! Now!

4. Put in the work: #WORKETHIC

“Nobody will ever work as hard as I work.” - Michael Jordan. Serena, Brady, Kobe… they all say their work ethic was the defining characteristic that made them champions. We work hard here. And we don’t apologize for it.

5. Get curious

Get curious about the world. Explore. Reflect. Travel. Converse. Grow. “I wonder why…”

6. Practice self-awareness

Self-awareness takes practice. It takes accepting your weaknesses and focusing on your strengths. We want you to maximize your strengths here. Your superpowers. We will hire someone to take on your weaknesses.

7. Be a magnet for talent

Winners attract other winners. Be the person others want to work with, time and time again.

8. Provide 24/7/365 service

As agents, we are here for our clients, our partners, and fellow employees 24/7/365.

9. Flourish in adversity

When the world is burning, our hands remain steady.

10. take care of the team

This team is a living, breathing organization that thrives when we work together as a unit. Hold yourself and your teammates to a high standard. Help one another. Provide for one another. Let’s create the greatest dream team the world has ever seen.

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Take the time to do the exercise. It’s worth it.

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